Bra-vo

There are a few things in life that are unbearable, back pain, paper cuts, broken bones, childbirth and then the worst thing ever.....underwire breaking through your bra and poking you constantly thought the day.

You see no matter how much you push the wire back into its soft and comfy home after around five minutes it's back to poking you like an annoying pokey thing.

I'll be talking, trying to keep eye contact with who ever it is, trying ignore the irritation, trying not to throw caution to the wind by diving into my cleavage and adjusting the wire from hell.

Pushing it back in with your fingers cannot be done as the end of the wire is ridiculously pointy, I tend to use the back of a spoon, anyway, folding the material of the cup over it and giving it a good shove is a good method but it isn't for public view, no one wants to see a women elbow deep in her bra wrestling with wire (well maybe men...maybe it could be an actual sport)

Anyway after shoving the wire back in for the gazillionth time that is when you do what is called the last resort, yes that's right you pull the wire out. With it gone you have such relief that you raise it above your head like some sort of battle trophy only to realise that your right tit is now considerably lower than your left.

So that is what the devil wire is for.........shit....

If you are only half way through your day you have two choices

1) manage with lob sided titties 

2) pull the wire out of the other side

I went for option 2.

How bloody hard is it to removed underwire when you actually want to??!!! 

After a lot of yanking, pulling, poking and thrusting it was out. Now I had two even looking unsupported titties. Success!!!

Damn.....it's raining.... *runs to car*  *forgets unsupported titties and is now an unofficial member of baywatch*

Damn you bras!!!! Damn you to hell!!!! :) 

All too much

Once again I'm at the mercy of my back causing me grief, stopping me from enjoying anything, putting me in a horrendous pity party mood.

Back to hearing that lovely negative bitch in my head spewing out her hateful thoughts.

Back to not wanting to do stuff anymore.

Back to feeling exhausted all the time for no reason.

Hating myself for succumbing to feeling like this again.

Why am I not stronger?

Why can't I just think normally?

What is normal thinking anyway?

I am so pathetic it is embarrassing, always making a drama out of nothing, always getting upset over stupid things, even thinking that my own children hate me because I'm that shit.

Even writing this makes me scowl at myself, how annoying can I be to annoy myself? 

I bet you're all reading this rolling your eyes at me, don't worry I'm doing the same.

I hate that I hate myself.

I hate that I can't let my negative thoughts go.

I hate that no matter what anyone says my inner bitch tells me they're lying, that's not you they're talking about, you're a fat, lazy, useless mother, a terrible wife, no one likes you, you're nothing, no one even thinks twice about you, why are you even here, why are you even bothering, why don't you just give up, why don't you just disappear, no one will even notice, people will be glad that you can't annoy them, no need to worry, no need to hate yourself, you will be free.

My inner battle rages on and on and on

People around me tell me 

'you have nothing to be miserable about' 

'don't be daft' 

'everything has been going fine why be miserable now'

'Distract yourself' 

I nod, my tears fall like a solemn child who knows nothing.

I need to change the way I think

I need to love myself

I need to not listen to my inner negative voices

I need to let my worries go

I want to silence the chaos in my mind

I want to smile inside and out 

I want to like myself  

I want to be free 

Cheesetastic

As you all know I'm renewing my vows with my husband in September so to save a few pennies (and because i love the dress) I'm reusing my wedding dress!

Now I've had three more children since I got married so I was thinking it might be a long shot, but I tried it on and its fits apart from the bodice...I think breastfeeding may have have had something to do with it as my boobs are a masshoosive 4 cup sizes bigger and my waist is obviously bigger than it was.

In conclusion I need to lose 12 inches from my back and waist and chest to get into the dress, so I'm on a mini health kick to get myself back into that dress!

Exercise is my key way of shifting weight as I'm a terrible dieter, the guilt and not allowing yourself certain thing is a killer for me so when I was approached by Low Low about their different way of looking at food I was very interested.

Their mission statement says it all,

"At LowLow we say ‘enough’ to feeling bad about food.

We believe that everyone should taste, savour, share and, above all, enjoy great food.
Our mission is to support and encourage women everywhere to have a great relationship with food.
So our delicious range of spreads and cheeses are the tastiest and most tempting you’ll find in your chill cabinet.
And we don’t believe that anyone should have to sacrifice feeling good for looking good.
So every single one of them contains at least 33% less fat - they’re a natural fit with a healthy, balanced lifestyle.
LowLow makes food to feel good about, (and our plan is to make our ads that way, too)."

Light hearted fun things about food are great, so I had to have a look at this advert and I wasn't dissapointed, my favourite has to be the women flicking her hair and eating yoghurt....sarcastically lol

 

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Growing up

My mornings are spent running errands and hanging out with my son. He comes everywhere with me in the mornings before we have to pick up his sister from half day nursery.

In September he will be doing half day nursery and I will have lost my travel companion, my company and the little man who makes me giggle on a daily basis.

Now I know many will be reading this going 'oh but you will have so much time to yourself etc' but I will genuinely miss him like I miss my girls who are already in full time school.

This morning Freddie and I went out for breakfast to where hubs works, we sat, munched, drank, chatted about cars and just being his usual cheeky Freddie self. As I watched him play with his cars on the table I realised that in a few months I will be doing this by myself and my one on one time with him will have ended.

It is quickly dawning on me that my children are growing up fast, my baby years are well and truly gone, the toddler years have passed and now they are becoming wonderful little people.

Don't get me wrong I love watching them grow but at the minute my mother instincts are going wild realising that at the school gates in September I will be walking home alone everyday.

It feels like only yesterday I was holding my eldest just after she was born, I was 19, wide eyed and a brand new mum wondering if the sleepiness nights would ever end....now 8 years on and I'm wondering where the time has gone.

Honeymoon Hopes

Hubs and I are renewing our vows on our wedding anniversary in September and we have cheekily asked whether we can have an actual honeymoon this time.

When we got married in 2006 I had only recently had my second daughter, she was only 8 weeks old so a honeymoon was out of the question. Do not even ask me how I got into my wedding dress 8weeks post partum it was a stressful affair!!

Anyway this time we're going for a relaxed event the way we want to do it, it's going to be simple, romantic and hopefully fun for the guests that are coming and hopefully hubs and I are going to get away for some well needed R&R.

One of my personal dream honeymoons would be a cruise around somewhere beautiful, lying back watching the blue sky pass us by with the sound of the sea buffering underneath us. I've seen some good deals here at cruise1st and I'm keeping an open mind so hopefully we will find something that we both will enjoy and remember for years to come.

I'm really excited about the renewal and after the hellish year we had last year with hub's redundancy I think we deserve a day celebrating the many lows we've managed to climb up from.

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Freddie is 3!!!

On Sunday my little boy turns three!!! Seems like only yesterday that I was planning his home birth and waddling around with a huge bump.

He has grown into a wonderful, clever, cheeky and loving little boy,I will always be very grateful for my son he was the final piece in our family jigsaw.

Happy birthday Freddie xxxxx

Making money from your old stuff

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Turn a house full of clutter into a pocket full of cash! 

Everyone knows that children require a lot of things as they grow, but living with five children means five times the clutter and five times the bills! While some items can be reused as hand-me-downs, such as clothes that are still in good condition, most of the things your children had to have at one time just fill up the closets and countertops as clutter.

Fortunately, there are many ways of getting rid of clutter and turning it into cash. Here are some ways you can get your closet space back and earn some money at the same time.

Host a garage sale

A garage sale can be a great way to get rid of extra clutter. All you need is a sunny weekend afternoon and a good way of getting the word out to friends and neighbours.

Start by letting your prospective customers know in advance, such as a week or two before you host the sale. You can post on your Facebook page about it, or hang fliers around the neighbourhood that announce the time and location of your garage sale.

Then, on the day of the sale, display your wares in an attractive way that allows customers to see them and invites browsing. You can either post the prices on the products themselves or set up your products in different areas according to price. Some people also enjoy haggling a bit in order to reach a fair price. With a bit of luck, you can get rid of a lot of clutter and draws full of old ipods in one afternoon and have a pocket full of cash to show for it!

Contact a consignment shop

Another way to get rid of clutter is to sell it through a consignment shop, which will either buy your items directly or give you a commission upon resale. The upside of selling through a consignment shop is that you don’t have to set aside an entire afternoon, as you would for a garage sale. Instead, you can drop the items at the store, where customers can browse at their leisure without imposing on your schedule.

Sell your stuff online

Finally, you can sell your clutter online. Depending on what you have, you can browse the internet for sites that specialise in secondhand sales and also those that specialise in the products you wish to sell. While it’s possible to sell almost anything online, it’s easiest to sell good quality clothing, accessories, electronics and homeware since there are many sites that specialise in the secondhand sale of these products. It’s also possible to find buyback sites that will purchase used items such as MusicMagpie, which specialises in buying back electronics, CDs and DVDs. In any case, make sure to look for a site that offers free listings and comes with a good reputation so you do not get scammed.

Whichever method you choose, don’t let clutter take over your house. Reclaim your cupboard space today and sell your used items for cash!

Bullying

I hate bullies, they made my childhood difficult, they made me question any outfit, anything I did or said for the first 3 years of school.

Daily I was picked on for being fat and looking like a boy because I had a pixie hair cut (I'd like to think I was too cool) anyway I digress, it was mostly the boys who picked on me, they would walk past me making pig noises or just yelling out fatty or something intelligent like that.

As all children do I had a few falings out and my first year year 7 was difficult, I had few friends at the time and dealing with a big pile of girls whispering and alienating you was horrid.

I pushed through and started to ignore the daily fat jokes, once I wore a skirt that was questionably short as we all do as girls, I was walking through the playground and an older group of girls said 'why is she wearing a skirt that short with THOSE legs' I never wore a skirt again and today I still hate my legs with a passion.

The worst point has to be when I started getting bigger boobs, they've always been massive even as young girl, I wore my shirt like all the other girls and one day this knob head lad in my year decided that I shouldn't be talking to my friend in their form room, so he dragged me out of the classroom, pushed me against the wall and told me to never come back to their form room again, made a crude comment about my boobs and proceeded to grope me whilst pinned up against the wall. I avoided him like the plague after that needless to say.

Anyway, I had some amazing friends at high school and things plodded on, I worked hard and ignored the idiots who had a problem with me. When I thought things were ok and the insults had died off a bit I got a bit more confident and enjoyed school, this event totally caught me off guard though.

It also happened in someone else's form room (you think I might've learnt from last time) for some reason this guy decided I was so fat it had to be shown to me so he dragged the chair I was sat on into the middle of the room pretending obviously I was a ten tonne weight, I went to get up and he pushed me down and started yelling obscenities in my face whilst everyone watched, then proceeded to get his friend to throw bottles and books at my head. I got up again to leave and was pushed back down but I pushed him away and fled in tears, my lovely friend who I'm still friends with today followed me and consoled me. I cried through all the lessons after lunch, no one was bothered, not one teacher even asked me what was up, I felt lonely, isolated and probably depressed.

In the summer of year 9 I had enough and decided to diet the whole summer and work out 3 times a day everyday (I have to add when I look at pictures of me I wasn't even fat and that's makes me even more sad about the whole thing)

It's so easy for someone looking in to say 'oh ignore it' I did that, I kept quiet, kept my head down, carried on regardless,I told my parents, I was told to ignore it.

Granted I wouldn't be as strong as I am now without it but I would have loved to know what it felt like to not be ridiculed everyday and I would like to not feel so negatively about myself like I still do today.

Just do me a favour and if you think your child is being bullied, talk to them, talk to their teachers, tell them what the bullies say is rubbish, remind them how amazing they are, remind them that the bullies opinion is their own not what the whole world thinks and most importantly tell them that you love them.