Saturday, 4 June 2016

Day out to Derwent dam

My husband is an aviation nut so this trip was inspired by his knowledge of the Lancaster bomber using Derwent dam as a training area for the bouncing bomb in WW2.

It was a green walled scenic drive to the Fairholmes visitor centre through the snake pass, the drive is decorated by deep leafy foliage and trees taller than imaginable for little one's eyes.

The car park is quite reasonable, £2.50 for 2 hours or £4.50 for all day. The visitor centre has toilets, lots of ducks, a little food take out cabin, and a gift shop. We came with a picnic and followed a well signed walk to Derwent dam. 

The views were impressive and there are so many places to walk and explore, we ended up having our picnic close to the shore of the reservoir.

It's a great day out steeped with historical significance. The wind started blowing as we sat eating and the sound of it whistling down the water and trees for a split second sounded just like the Lancaster flying overhead.

Monday, 30 May 2016

What we trust in but don't yet see

Well I've made it. My degree is finished and I'm just waiting for my results!!! It's been a great three years, I've enjoyed the course so much and now I'm thinking about finding a job.

I'm not actively seeking a journalism job even though I have done a journalism degree. I feel through my academic research, my dissertation, and learning more about the industry I ultimately would love to find a role in an ethical company. I have a real passion for social justice, for hearing the stories of those who might not necessarily be able to be heard. My ears always prick up when I hear great things that people have done for other people, I feel in this world we live in we need to encourage the social aspect of society. 

I'm currently exploring the possibility of becoming a minister in the Church of England. This might be a surprise to some, but it's a calling I've been feeling for three years, I believe that God has had a hand in pulling me through my depression, motivating me to go back to uni, and leading me to the church, which is the place that I love so much.

I've always known God and I guess I've been a slow burning Christian, I've never been vocal about my faith but I feel that it is and has become the place where I really feel like I am me. Three years ago I didn't know who I was, what I liked, or what I was doing with my life. Everything was annoying and stressful, I wanted to just hide and escape. I'm not saying that my life is not stressful now, but I am so much stronger, so much more me, and much happier.

I'm not sure what job I'm going to find, but if I can combine my determination to help people, with my love of communication I will be happy for now as I continue on my possible journey to ministry. 

Thursday, 12 May 2016

Happy 6th birthday Fred!

Today Mr Freddie is 6 years old! Where has the time gone? My final baby and is such a brilliant little boy, even in the womb he had character and he is still brimming with smiles, humour, and fun.

I can't believe it's been six years since I gave birth after a very bumpy ambulance journey after a failed home birth. I wish I could have had him at home but it was still a great experience, especially with my husband and my friend Bobbie as my birth partner.

Happy birthday little man! 

Saturday, 30 April 2016


I read a post the other day that spoke about different types of grief. Recently my parents separated and moved into separate houses. At first I was grieving over how our family dynamic had changed, I tired to ignore it but in the end I had to confront it. 

Things are better now and my mum and I see each other frequently but the relationship with my dad is non existent. I see him for five minutes a week and I don't know who he is anymore. 

Things I show him are met with a vague acknowledgement, I ask him questions and he walks away, I ring his phone and he doesn't answer, he wears a ghastly Bluetooth tusk thing on his ear, there's no way he doesn't see my name flash up on his phone.

I feel like a little girl stood at the door with a cuddly toy in hand just watching as he walks away. What have done wrong? I have asked this question over and over. I watched him drift away from my mother with his many commitments and other interests, and now I think he is leaving me.

I'm grieving.

There is no one who sees it, I didn't see it until today.

I don't know him anymore, and he doesn't know me.

Monday, 4 April 2016

The LEGO® Movie™ 4D A New Adventure review

We were very honoured to be able to go and see the premier of Legoland Discovery Centre's new 4D film. After being flashed by the paparazzi and dodging a few celebs, the children got to meet the stars of the short film, Emmet and Wildstyle!!!!!!

The 12 minute film, exclusive to LEGOLAND®, reunites the characters from the original movie and brings together some of the original voices. It features an entirely new plot and mixed with amazing 4D effects, such as wind, water, smoke and special lighting effects, promises a uniquely imaginative interactive experience. 

The cinema is fab and we were so excited sitting and waiting with our popcorn and 3D glasses!

I don't want to give any spoilers away but we sat right at the front and it was fantastic!!!! If you're stuck for something to do over the school holidays I highly recommend a visit to see the film you won't be disappointed!!

Friday, 1 April 2016

Lamb love

Finally after a hectic term the children have broken up from school for two weeks. It's been a busy but wonderful Easter and now it's time for a bit of family R&R. My husband managed to arrange with his lovely friend who owns a farm for us to come and visit his lambs that have recently been born.

The rain was pouring down as we trotted through the misty hills, the green fields stretched around us as the sound of little lambs bleating on the wind made our faces smile wide.

Watching the lambs bounce around was beautiful, the ewes always had one eye on us except when munching on their feed. We went to see some of the smaller lambs that were under shelter until they were strong enough, it was such a privilege holding and looking after them.

The children had a great time being towed around in a trailer and also walking through the fields,with not one mention about the wet windy weather.

It was hard not to suppress the feeling that my husband and I would love to have a farm one day. It's a real pipe dream but it would be amazing one day to live somewhere that would allow us to have a few sheep and enjoy the beauty of our wonderful world.

It certainly was a great start to the holiday. 

Tuesday, 16 February 2016


I've got to be honest I am dreading finishing university in May.

I have no clue what I'm doing afterwards, the questioning has already begun.

"Well obviously you've had three years to figure out what you're doing after you graduate so what IS it you are going to do."

I've changed so much over these three years that my initial career inspiration to start my degree has faded completely. 

I've always thought of myself to be a bit like the Bridget Jones of journalism, bumbling around and sort of passing for a vague attempt of some sort of a career.

At the moment I'm feeling so much pressure to produce some sort of "ready to walk into" job after I graduate.

At this rate I'll be back at Sainsburys just so I can put my super clever eldest daughter through the private school she got into. 

Any career advice is welcome!

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

On the home straight

Well I'm not sure where January went but it has gone and I am back to uni for my final semester before graduation! 

I am a mixture of excited and nervous about the coming few months, but there is one thing I am certain about, that when I finally wear my cap and gown I will be very proud of myself!

I remember being 19 and a new mum. I was frequently told that I was throwing my life away, that I had ruined my future, that I was daft, immature, you name it, I was called it.

When I had my third daughter and before she was diagnosed deaf, I was blamed for her lack of speech by a nurse. I had too many children and I wasn't giving her enough attention apparently. It was my fault she couldn't say anything more than "mummy".

When I had my five little ones I was apparently stupid for staying in a job, I should have just stayed at home and not selfishly worked.

All these opinions from other people over the years caused damage but I can say that I rose from the ashes.

In May I will be handing in my dissertation, looking for a job that I want as my career, and giving every parent out there a high five because you know what? We're amazing!!!!!

I want to say to anyone who is thinking of going back to uni to do it!!!!! 

Having children is the start of a new way of life and you find your own path, my degree shows that you can have children young and still have a career.

I'm proud of me and I hope when my children look back when they're older they will be proud of me too.