Snap, crackle and sob

Today I sat in my car and cried in the car park of my local supermarket.

Pitiful you're thinking? Yep me too. Rewind to this morning and the usual school run morning whirlwind/chaos, hubs had a sore back so I ran upstairs and got dressed.

I came down stairs and it's 8:40 we have to leave and 6yo and 5yo have no shoes on, no coats on and have no clue where their bags are etc.

I'm met with a shrug of shoulders and a 'so what' attitude. I run around looking for the items I'd already dug out this morning and now we're looking at it being 8:50.... I cried like a big girl.

Crazy I seem, maybe but I guess it was the straw that broke the metaphorical donkey's back, we had to do the walk of shame through the main entrance of the school where the 'late/can't be arsed to get my kids there on time' parents go.

A quick hop over to nursery to deliver 4yo and I walk home dazed and huffy.

You see my to do list is longer than Katie price's hair extensions, here's a snippet...

Do food shopping
Do washing up
Put washing machine on
Tackle mount everest of clean washing pile.
Make three beds
Tidy the girls bedroom
Etc etc etc

I guess my brain just went 'nope not happening to much pressure' and gave up in the form of car park tears.

I so wish I could just have a couple of days to just take stock and de frazzle an impossibility as a working mum of 5 but I can dream.

It's been a busy month and as usual I've ploughed on through like I do with a smile on my face and I've got to a stage where I'm a wreck, tired and emotional.

Hopefully it will pass and i'm just being a self loathing drama queen with a too loud inner monologue telling me that I should be doing better etc

Funnily enough i had a good day yesterday, I took the girls to a remembrance church service in my parents village.

Grandad would have gone, so this year I went for him.

Xxxxx