Wednesday, 21 August 2013

Tits up

Oh man it's been a frustrating day, started with trying to find a dress to a wedding I'm going to next week which was impossible, didn't probably help that we had all the children with us.....

Anyway it seems that if you have ample juggage like myself, trying to find a dress on the high street that fits is about as pleasurable as using a cactus as a dildo.

You see you can go up dress sizes to squeeze them in but then the rest of the dress looks crap, I'm a size 16 (plenty to grab etc) so the bigger I go to accommodate the girls, the bigger the waist goes oh and taller you are apparently, at 5'5 I'd have to wear substantial heels to not fall in my face on dress length.

So after trying on a stretchy number that made me look like a box on legs, then a fancy ball gown type which made me look preggers I threw caution to the wind and had lunch.

Whilst devouring more shopping fuel I threw all the clothes out of my wardrobe on bed in my mind and remembered I have a dress but would probably require some industrial strength control underwear to create a few sultry curves.

Sorted, so I picked up a cream hat, a clutch bag and a shawl all for £29 bought some interesting but lacy body sculpture teddy thingy with matching hold ups.....that was a nice treat for the young man whole erm handled my purchases ;)

Obviously after dragging five children around all day it has turned them into whining, raging beasts of the epic 'before 4pm alcoholic drink' kind, I decided that to entertain them (get them out of my hair) I will put the wii in their room, they've nagged me to death to do that all week so I caved, took a swig out the wine bottle, set it all up to find that the little darlings have mislaid the tv remote......

This high quality device will not switch on without it so now I'm back to whining hell and I'm requiring chocolate as well as wine.

Anyway onwards and upwards and all that! only two weeks until, the end of the hols, cheers all *necks bottle*